"bleeding"
1997
by vulcanviking (Joe White)
 
Copyright 1997-2003 by Joe White
 

i look out of the window
out into the gray
watching all the dreams
fade away
to yesterday
watching for a phantom
screaming for a dream
hoping for a miracle
impossible though that may seem
i wish i had some other way to feel
i don't know how
as i stare into the empty light
and sweat beads on my brow
i try to wish away the pain
and travel somewhere else
and i imagine
cold gray ashes
of my heart upon the shelf
my heart is bleeding

a whimper in the silence
i turn
there's no one there
but i can almost touch the pain
despair hangs heavy in the air
i catch a glimpse of sunlight
and a moment breaks the storm
then the cold gray waves come crushing in
impale me on the unicorn
every moment is unbearable
but forever heals the pain
with trembling hand i reach out
through the freezing rain
the coldness of your touch
upon my naked skin
a balm that soothes my hands
and calls forever in
and my mind screams no but
my soul is bleeding

 

every light is out now
night has fallen in my soul
and i remember then
back when i was whole
i wonder where i fell
but i don't stop to wonder why
for time is short now
no chance left
god i don't want to die
the freight train looms before me
tornado overhead
i'm falling screaming burning
as i sit here in my bed
you're all that's left to me
i can't find another way
and i watch the cool sweet motion
of your gleaming grinning blade

hiding from the pain so long i can't hide anymore
as i feel your loving touch against my skin
i feel the searing agony, the trademark of your love
only you will keep the strangers from closing my world in
flashes of the sunshine, flashes of the sea
flashes of the dreams that i'd forgotten to recall
as the morning's birdsong breaks outside my window
finally the tears begin to fall

i stare at you there in the stain
wondering why it ends this way
my tears bring back the life i'd lost
as i watch it fade away

my wrists are bleeding